En4ced Rest & life b4 txt frm me 2 u

Things were going along swimmingly since the last blog; but a suspected sinus infection sent me to the doctors [three units of ambulance men were nearly needed to revive me when I got the bill] and a chest infection showed itself to accompany its fellow ailment. If that lot sounds pompous, try sixty euro to be told what you already suspect and another 48 euro to pay for medication that makes you want to call for the priest!

Short form is: Antibiotic's made me feel like passing over, doc recommends drop to one a day and I know stomach will never be the same again. Enter Trudy; "Yogurt, me dear, Glenisk is the best - it'll help your stomach". Trudy has now been voted lifesaving pal of the century. We go back a long way, 56 years to be precise, our Mums were three beds apart in the same ward of the same maternity hospital. Our Mother's came from neighbouring villages and we never knew each other until thirty seven years ago, come August, when we were introduced by a mutual friend. It was dislike at first sight. We l-o-a-t-h-e-d each other. Mutual friend emigrated to the USA and we continued to travel home together by train in thinly veiled truce. All this ended when a pal of hers let her down over a summer holiday and she came along to Greece with my friends and I. We had a blast! Things were never the same again...well, they couldn't be could they? After all I remember her and that night with the Ouzo, and she recall's my being chatted up by whatshisname...all very tame really by today's carry on in such places as Ibiza, but a mutual bond was formed and we took to the disco's upon our return like they were going out of fashion.

We have been firm friends ever since. Mind you, most of her and my other friends are convinced we are arch enemies - the level of what they see as sarcasm and what we see as never ending 'slagging' or leg pulling being high. We refuse to text each other, despite both being fairly competent with texting vocabulary. It's a sort of "lets be old-fashioned" about it. It's also an excuse for very long, very hilarious chats which keep Eircom in business, despite both having "packages" to save on calls.

As the week progressed the text messages started to roll in, it was obvious I was not seen in my usual haunts so Lisa landed this one "wer u? Nt cn u 4 4tnite - u ok?" or, for the text illiterate Where are you, haven't seen you for a fortnight, are you ok?...she got back, "nt so gud, antibi's mkng me fl yuk" to which she replied "por u, cn i gt u n-e tin" or, poor you, can I get you anything. Ger's "herd u r sik, hop ur betr, u up 4 cofy nx wed?" up for coffee next Wednesday, darling girl, I was hoping to reach the "able to eat tea and toast and keep it down" stage by then, never mind sit at our favourite cafe and slosh back cappuchino's and latte's by the gallon!

And it went on. And I started to think. And it hit me that by 2025 there will probably be classes in schools in Old English, and for those really interested Olde English. What will differentiate the two? Olde English will be the English of Chaucer and Shakespeare, and Old English will be the sort of thing we currently write our blogs in. Most communications will probably be in Nu Nglsh or Txt speek 4 u. When people speak to each other, ninety per cent of the words will be drowned with the "like" insert as I call it. Like, it will be, like speaking, like, in, like short4m, like, and, like, if, like, we can ever, like, get a sentence, like, out, like, we will, like, be, like, doing good. Like.

Have you ever eavesdropped on non-national English speaking conversations? The Irish have their own format, and it is not necessarily filled with shure and begorrahs! The English have theirs [regional variations included], American English and Canadian English is different again, take in New Zealand and Australia and the varying formations of a sentence are interesting. Like.

Anyhow, I am now off out to the patio, to like, sit, like, and read a book, like, and recouperate, like, before I have to, like, txt a fu pals 4 d l8st nuz! like.